DEAR ABBY: I’ve been divorced for 13 years and have been relationship “Paul” for the final 5 years. Paul is form, helps with issues round the home and loves my family and friends. We share many frequent pursuits and luxuriate in being collectively. We at the moment are contemplating transferring to the subsequent step: marriage. We already reside collectively.
The issue is that Paul is just not financially accountable. He helps pay the payments, and we alternate choosing up the tab after we exit. I earn greater than he does, which isn’t any large deal, however I do not need retirement arrange or nice insurance coverage. If we have been married, it could assist my insurance coverage issues. The home and property are in my title.
A part of the rationale for my divorce was my ex’s lack of ability to handle cash, which bought us right into a world of debt. I don’t wish to undergo that once more. I’d like to marry Paul however don’t wish to tackle his monetary debt. What’s the appropriate determination to make? — STUCK ON THIS IN WISCONSIN
DEAR STUCK: The best factor so that you can do could be to debate this with an lawyer who will help you determine if you happen to actually wish to be legally married to Paul. Marrying somebody to get on his insurance coverage is just not the appropriate method to go. Speaking with an insurance coverage agent a couple of program for which you could be eligible could be not solely enlightening, but in addition advantageous.
DEAR ABBY: My good friend “Buddy’s” daughter is at an age between my two daughters’ ages. She is 11; mine are 10 and 13. I’ve identified Buddy since junior excessive, and our wives get alongside properly. We reside shut to one another, and that’s nice, however their daughter “Edie” is a nightmare to have stick with us. She’s imply, smug, disobedient and extremely impolite.
My spouse and I really like spending time with Buddy and his spouse. Their youthful daughter is 3 and cute but in addition very spoiled. We don’t wish to jeopardize our friendship, but it surely’s beginning to put on on us to have Edie right here with out going off on them about her conduct. How can we deliver this to their consideration with out it seeming like we’re critiquing their parenting and upsetting them? — FED UP IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FED UP: Is Edie imply, smug, disobedient and impolite within the presence of her mother and father, or has she been invited to spend time together with your women individually? If it’s the latter and also you don’t need Edie to negatively affect your women by modeling unhealthy conduct, clarify to her that you’ve got “sure guidelines” at your own home and what they’re. Ensure that she is aware of that if she will’t comply with the foundations she received’t be invited once more.
If Edie behaves this badly in her mother and father’ presence, inform Buddy and his spouse privately that though you worth their friendship, you not need their daughter over there since you don’t need her conduct to affect your personal children.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
