DEAR ABBY: A couple of years in the past, my daughter went “no contact” with either side of our household — grandparents, dad and mom, aunts and uncles, in addition to cousins.
Since then, I’ve been scuffling with how I ought to reply acquaintances who ask, “How is she doing?” in addition to those that ask, “Do you’ve gotten kids?”
I’ve been informed by family and friends that I ought to inform the acquaintances that I don’t know why as a result of she doesn’t converse to the household.
Nonetheless, I’ve discovered this response results in extra uncomfortable questions.
I’m embarrassed to have to inform individuals “Sure, however she doesn’t converse to us” — and worse, attempt to reply “Why?”
Recently, I’ve been telling individuals, “No, we don’t have kids” so I gained’t have to clarify.
Are you able to advise me how I can reply these questions with out explanations, embarrassment or lies? — FORMER PARENT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR FORMER PARENT: As a matter of reality, I can. Inform the questioner, “I’ve one daughter. We’re estranged, and I don’t want to focus on it additional.” Interval. It’s the reality.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I’ve had a tumultuous relationship. Proper now, it’s good, however the concern I’m having is that his mattress is tremendous uncomfortable and so is his sofa.
He spent some huge cash for each of them, however I’m unable to sleep or get snug on his sofa.
How do I inform him he wants to switch them or else I don’t need to spend the evening with him or watch motion pictures on the sofa at his home? — UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Begin by telling your boyfriend you could’t get a superb evening’s sleep in his mattress as a result of the mattress is uncomfortable for you.
Do the identical factor after watching TV on his sofa. In case your again wants extra help, he shouldn’t regard it a private insult. Then invite him to your place so he gained’t really feel rejected.
DEAR ABBY: As I method my one hundredth birthday, I want you’ll educate individuals {that a} reward certificates for a meal from a restaurant or a donation to feed the hungry can be way more appreciated than bouquets of high-priced flowers that wilt and die.
It will even be a considerate reward to my caretaker, who prepares my meals and will use a break.
Decisions for seniors turn into fewer as we age, and good meals are one of many easy pleasures left. Thanks. — CENTENARIAN IN GEORGIA
DEAR CENTENARIAN: Warmest congratulations as you close to your milestone birthday. Your suggestion {that a} restaurant reward certificates is way extra sensible than receiving flowers (or an mechanically renewing journal subscription) is an efficient one.
I hope readers will recognize the spirit wherein it was supplied. I particularly like the truth that you’ll use it to spare your caregiver the stress of getting ready not less than one in every of your meals.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
